


i saw you in the spring.

by 0saturnboy0



Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, kind of sad, nah its really sad, poetfic, snufkins pov, snufmin, very very very poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 22:43:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20713751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0saturnboy0/pseuds/0saturnboy0
Summary: i saw you in the spring, in our eternal garden.





	i saw you in the spring.

i saw you in the spring, you were smiling. 

you held my hand. i let you. you smiled even bigger. 

the gesture was sweet, and i craved to see it more, but i was never selfish  _ enough _ . 

and i wonder if you know that i see you in every blooming flower, 

that i see you in the warmth of the sun, 

that i see you in the stream, its current too fast for me to catch much on my line. 

you’re always there. 

when i close my eyes, even. 

i saw you in the spring, you said you missed me. 

i came late this year. i never showed you in the scars on my ribs. 

you never asked, barely touched. it was a ghost’s embrace. 

_ is this what we are now?  _ i wonder.  _ just ghosts to one another?  _

it was almost sad, but maybe it’s the consequence of not being here sooner. 

maybe it’s the consequence of loving you, 

the consequence of deeming the lump in my throat as a  _ can’t  _

instead of a  _ won’t.  _

i saw you in the spring, you were frowning. 

i was clutching my side for purchase, giving you an excuse to save the time. 

_ you’re hurt.  _

_ you’re bleeding.  _

all i can do is smile, but it’s tired. 

the reality of the cruel world is settling on my shoulders like an old coat, 

you’re sad because i won’t let you take it off. 

the warmth is stale, there’s never much insulation in pain. 

but you don’t deserve to wear a coat so heavy. 

i can hurt you, but i can’t hurt you that much. 

i saw you in the spring, you were crying this time. 

_ what’s wrong?  _ i asked, but i am not mindless. i know why you are upset. 

i’m worn down, this winter was cruel. i can’t bring myself to say it to you. 

i hate it oh-so much when you cry, when tears drip off the apples of your cheeks. 

they sink into the grass below where we sit. i swear i can see flowers bloom there. 

_ i hate seeing you hurt.  _

i knew you would say that. 

you are always so tender. 

i saw you in the spring, we were playing in the fields. 

i know it is just a dream on loop, but i cannot let this part of you go. 

i know you are in pain, i know i caused it. 

but if i can just have you here with me, in this spring that never leaves, 

then that is enough. 

there is no winter here. just the sun, the flowers. 

us, who are under the vast sky. 

i can see you smile all the time. i can see blue eyes shine bright under 

rays of sunlight. 

i saw you in the spring, i never woke back up for the winter. 

i saw you in the spring, i never got to say  _ i love you _ . 

i saw you in the spring, and now i will only ever see you there. 

i saw you in the spring, in our eternal garden. 

there are no i love yous, there are no second chances. 

no regret. no pain. 

your smile, the hand in mine, the continuous warmth we could bask in. 

i put flowers in your hair, you giggle when i call you pretty. 

isn’t that a way to say  _ i love you _ ? 

i saw you in the spring. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi i jus recently got into moomin and this is what ive pumped out   
its sad as ive also been sad today   
im sorry


End file.
